For the past few years, survival tools and survival kits have been all the rage. So much so that the market is flooded with such a wide variety of gear and tools, that everyone from baby to grandma can find something to help them “survive”. In fact, It has gotten so bad that the whole idea of “survivalism” and “preparedness” has become something of a joke. A gimmick if you will, for lack of a better word.
But one company that is well known for its jokes and gimmicks has actually come out with a survival kit that contains everything you need to survive – for real. And best of all, this doesn’t look like a product that was made just to separate gullible people from their money.
Violent Little Machine Shop is known for creating morale patches, stickers, and pins that play off of current social events, and/or feature classic quotes and characters from cult movies. They have just launched their “Not A Survival Patch” which is a $50, 5.5” x 3.5” sandwich of leather and Velcro that comes equipped with everything you need to hunt, fish, trap, start a fire, escape a bad situation, and ultimately survive in the wild.
The items inside this patch, which is designed to be affixed anywhere that Velcro will allow, include a handcuff key, knot tying card, super glue, water purification tabs, waterproof matches, Vaseline soaked cotton balls, and monofilament line. It also comes with a Wilderness Survival Card, which resembles a metal credit card that contains eight unique tools of its own.
The patch/pouch actually comes sewn shut from Violent Little Machine Shop – making it truly a “for emergencies only” type of item. But the company states that if you use anything inside the kit, you can return it, at which point they will refill it and sew it back up – all for the price of sharing your survival story.
You can rest assured that I’ll be ordering one of these patches, even if it iss just for the handcuff key alone! In my mind, the key helps to keep this product fun and fresh. That is, until I actually need to use it, of course.